Spamoscope

A few months ago, I noticed that the spam email I get is filled with the most fascinating garbled, indistinct text. I actually noticed this when I was naming pieces for the Concordia/Discordia show, which is where names like “I figured eBay had everything so why not ghosts” and “My aging mother’s last wish” came from.

Ever since, I’ve taken special care to read my spam mail. I like to think of them as horoscopes, and that maybe someone is trying to communicate with me, but my average mind can’t quite comprehend this advanced means of communication.

This morning, I was ecstatic to see an email from Irene Dos Santos entitled “station disservice baronage” (the best ones always have fucked up titles too). So I opened up my spam “horoscope” for the day;

"Here’s the inter-talk for Franksville. A knee trembler on the wound-surface. Any blood vessel that is punctured should be cut across and acquired its characteristic in duration. Several of the glands along tetanus antitoxin may be indicated. Gentle pressure on fractures and dislocations in the region of the elbow. Keep your eyes open Tuesday.

The mouth is parched, commonly met with in the fingers, less movements the patient flexing the limb at the hip, the knee being open flowered".

The perfect forecast.